can’t help but think of good old ‘cousin it’ from the adams family when i ponder the following famous hymn, my very favorite- It Is Well With My Soul:
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
It is well with my soul,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin—oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!—
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.
i have pondered getting a vegan/plant based tattoo with the very phrase on my arm as it’s been so meaningful to me in both past and present times. when i shared my plan with a small group of girlfriends, one issued a warning about what happens inevitably every time she has added to her tattoo collection.
more often than not, when she gets a new phrase or meaningful word added to her ink portfolio, she finds herself challenged with a test of sorts, or so it seems- as if God or life had set her up so that she may live out her proclaimation to an even further level. it’s as if the very thing she has boldly claimed asks her to step up and dive deeper still into this understanding of the nature of the word.
i thought “well crap!” i had never thought of that before. i began to wonder if it was like almost inviting tragedy or discomfort into my life, a self fulfilling prophecy of sorts.
however, as i came back into my right brain again and recognized that God doesn’t punish us for our thoughts or even will things upon our lives because we ‘asked for it’, i did however instead begin to dig deeper.
my questioning rather turned inward to a new level, where i began to challenge myself with facing the uncomfortable.
what exactly was the uncomfortable?
well, of course it became the very ‘thing’ that i want permanently adhered to my body an din my everyday consciousness as i journey about this planet.
in my mind, i had always known that the phrase in my mind stood for all of the challenges, the good, bad and ugly that i have already dealt with and faced in y path thus far, along with all the future entailed-that all of this was well.
But-
i had not yet gotten specific with defining the elephant in the room.
cousin ‘it.’
this odd relative who is uncomfortably close at the dinner table and family functions, but i had yet to really ‘know’ him. just like the character in the adams family- i had no idea who and what lurked under that disguise. there was too much thick, dense window dressing to get a clear view into the eyes and soul of this evasive ‘it.’
how is it that i have danced around the corners of this ‘it’ in my head for many years now, but had yet to let it lead me out onto the dance floor and give it a whirl.
the truth is, i found this ‘it’ to be scarier than i had thought.
i am all too human in imagining the worst possible case scenarios at times, thoughts of what losing all that belongs to me looks like, all of the ‘control’ that i have over my life that ultimately leads my demise in the end.
but i found this ‘it’ to be a different kind of scary. i realized that it is an invitation to let go with complete and utter surrender, all the while trusting that there is nothing but good things waiting for me- that my very essence-my soul- will survive and even thrive through it all.
while still being careful to guard my heart, i have let myself go to places that i know are deeply uncomfortable for me, where god asks me if i can give over to him the keys to even ‘THAT’?
my list of ‘its’ oddly began to both materialize and vaporize at the same time, which you can imagine is one of the most odd realities i have ever experienced to this day. it was as if as those fears and dreams, both good and fearful, were taking on a shape, they were leveled before they even took voice. i believe this is because there are too many unknown in life. the fears we project out into our future rarely happen, but if they do, i have to believe that god is bigger than it all.
god was inviting me to a new place, a new reality.
this world promised me that all of my ‘its’ both spoken and unspoken- were taken care of. once and for all. it didn’t say that my worries, dream and cares didn’t matter or that i should ignore them, but rather, they were all in a safe place with god in the sacred space he holds specifically for me.
so, if i do indeed go through with my permanent reminder, i go with bold confidence, a warrior knowing exactly where i stand with my newfound knowledge of my promise.
and THAT is well with my soul…
image: pixabay.com