i vividly remember the scene: we were in the living room of our old apartment, creaky old wood floors and the sound of arguing downstairs neighbors wafting up through the window to our second story abode. a dear friend of many years accompanied us over glasses of red wine and life altering conversation. Justin had just taken a job he hated more than anything, out of desperation to provide for us and keep us off the streets, as my dwindling health escalated and our bills increased.
the truth was, i my income couldn’t hold us together anymore. and he hated his job, feeling more and more worthless and belittled with each passing day.
as the three of us tossed around life stories and exposed our deepest souls, she put down her glass, looked at me and then urned to Justin and said bluntly, “just quit.”
her statement and recommendation was based off of too much wine and emotion.
but it rang true in all of our souls.
we all three knew full well that our life’s calling of health podcasting wasn’t even close to paying the bills, and that with each passing day, i was called to give up my toxic day job of hairstyling at the salon.
there was no guarantee. it was inviting danger and wonder into our life. it meant the reality was that the reliable paycheck would disappear. but somehow we knew that with it’s exit, a new character in the play would enter, a character who brought endurance, promise and dignity.
as soon as those words left her lips, his resounding YES entered the space between us, connecting us to the knowledge that something bigger than us all had just happened.
we clinked glasses, but knew full well that the days, months and even years ahead would most likely be rough and edgy, on the brink of disaster even.
so, we followed our mission, our passion.
fast forward four LONG years later, we are actually (gratefully) in a place of financial rest for the first time in our entire lives. the daily grind, the sweat and tears, the belief that we had not heard correctly or that we had made drunken promises.
yet- i feel that God ask me daily and continually, “are you ALL in?”
He asked me then and he asks me now.
are we ALL in?
Or are we poking one tiny toe into the water of the unknown and pretending that we have plunged in over our heads into the current of uncertainty?
let’s face it. being ALL in ain’t pretty. or for the faint of heart.
it takes a warrior heart, a lion’s roar and the dedication of a monk to commit to being ALL in.
understanding that saying YES to the call is agreeing to possible days, weeks, years and even decades of commitment to learning the craft from both observation and experience. it’s a daily choice as well. it may begin with one specific defining moment, but as life happens and emotions tug us in different directions, it’s the remembrance of the covenant to the one true path that makes our soul soar.
so…when is the last time you have fully said YES to something? what, why and how does it make you feel? is the commitment greater than the fear of failure? is risking the safe harbor for choppy seas worth the boredom hamster wheel of past decisions?
WHEN was the last time you were ALL in????
image: chasehisheart.wordpress.com/2014/05/14/the-calm-in-the-storm