today’s Streams in the Desert suggests,
“in the shadow-each of us must go there sometimes…But fear not! it is the shadow of God’s hand. He is leading you, but there are lessons that can only be learned where He leads. The photograph of His face can only be developed in the dark room.” -L.B. Cowman, updated by Jim Reimann
our dog Maggie is nuts.
truly nutty. she has attacked both Justin and i on several occasions, seemingly out of insecurity and jealous behavior. she attempts to lord her power over both of us as well are our new pup Charlee. we are working on these behavior issues and pray and have faith she can be restored to a better mind with the proper help we have sought out for her.
often, when we need to discipline her and get her away from the rest of us for safety or to calm her down, we send her to her ‘house’- her wire crate with fluffy bedding and handmade blankets. the funny thing is, many times she will send herself there! when we even mention the word ‘house’, she charges off in the direction of her special place, and runs inside with fierce growling and anger. we try not to laugh at her, as she seems to be disgusted with herself, punishing herself so as to save us looking like the bad guys.
Mags knows this will ultimately be a safe place of refuge to calm down and collect herself before returning to her normal activities, but going there she often turns into a primal beast, raging with unbridled emotion. she will snap and lunge at us with her teeth often as we gently close the door to her home, to which her anger quickly dissolves into a small whimper of both gratitude and brokenness. after the initial internal fight in her mind for control, this space becomes a comfortable place of surrender and bizarre gratitude. despite her odd way of expressing herself, she seems thankful to have a place of solitude carved out for her so she can return to the world a happier and more balanced dog.
when this happened again this morning, i related it to my own life.
often i feel and see God setting me apart for awhile. sometimes my attitude is sunny and i can except this as a gift from above, excited and expectant to see what is is store for me thorough this much needed time out in my own ‘house’ of retreat.
other times, it’s quite the opposite. i drag my feet, whining and complaining the whole way, questioning the one who leads me down this parched road in the middle of the desert. like chronic illness for example- not the loveliest road to travel down. or redirection by painful life lessons and circumstances-not a favorite either. some of these times last for seasons of weeks and months, others blur into decades.
this time away, of being refined, can be the only space where i am reminded to really push into God, the only place of real and lasting comfort and teaching. the gentle hand that leads me there can often seem violent and untrained when observed with my own near sightedness, but i know it is indeed gentle in it’s leading in retrospect.
time set apart!
time away!
all is well, all is exceedingly well.
image: flickr.com/photos/spikabiz/7623037986